Chaos and no dj ch.V

Newman's office was kind of comfortable, not like a spa or a house kitchen, but it feels nice enough. The old imitation wood desk, a creecking chair, an ancient Compaq and some old picnics and fishing days photos with the wife, no kids, no mysterious past, as he tries to show, but I'm sure there's something more.

-So, what's hot? - I had to ask so you can tell who's me in this dialogue.
- The file I gave you in the morning, the which one I'm sure you haven't even openned, it looks like there's something new to add there.
-What is it?
-We got an alias.
-Really? I always wanted a cool alias, can we pick ours? Or intelligence has already assigned them. I want to be "John Mullet", or maybe "silver fox 2" you can be number 1.
-I'm sorry son, but I'm not into the truck driver roleplay. I mean an alias to search up for. It's "Frank Trash".
-So we lookin' for Frank.
-We can't be sure, but I just got that update, it appears that this name has been mentioned in some intercepted phone calls, but they think this so called Frank is in this side of the border, I need you to help me find out at least who is he...
-Or she.
-Or she.
-This is difficult, there might be a ton of Franks just on this district.
-But maybe just a few hundreds of Frank Trash.
-That makes my job way more easier.
-Renember son, this is not like in the movies.
-What? This is exactly a B-movie plot, international criminals, gangs, a detective and a street name to look for.
-I like your motivation, but we haven't got into that level, review the file and we will fill it with wathever we can find.
-I will find Frank, somehow.

I get out of Newman's office...

-Were you raised in a barn? Please, close the door.- That was Newman.
-Sorry man, I got it.

I close Newman's door, I sit in my desk, everything is happening so fast.

The phone rings, that must be Mistah Thug, I pick it up.

-Yeah?
- Ehm yes, are you working on the file? -It's Newman, again.
-Come on Newman, did I left the oven on too? do you really have to be that over me? I already told you, the hound thing, remember? trust me.
-Well I can't really trust a hound that lefts the oven on or leaves the file he tolds me he's working on over my desk.
-Did I?
-Yes.
-I'm sorry, I'm a bad dog.
-You are not a dog, just some government employee .
-Alright. - and I hang up.

The phone rings again.

-Could you wait a moment Newman?! Leave the line open so my bank can call me! - I shout to Newman's door.
-I'm not calling you! Come pick that folder, it smells!

Wut? If that's not Newman...

I pick up the phone.

-Hello?
-Do you think you can play with us? -Not this again.

-Morty! You got a phone call!
-612! Send it over pal!

Pal? Whatever, I don't want to talk to this pressumably fake gangsta  weirdo again. I'll just digit Morty's line and send it over.

-Yeap? Morty?
-There's no Morty in here.- that's not Morty's voice.
-Where am I calling?
-You made the call and I have to tell you where do you called to?
-Come on man, I got a weird gangster on the other line who wants to talk to Morty.
-What the hell? Transfer the call to me, who the shit he think he is?
-Will you be Morty?
-Yeah whatever, I will be Morty or even a Carlton, just let me play a bit with this guy. Do you have him on hold?
-Yes, soft rock and some "your call is very important" thing speaking.
-Ok, transfer it.
-Thank you man, I can't...
-But hey, you owe me.
-Makes sense, but who are you?
-Don't worry, I will find you.

What a nice fellah, dealing with all this crap for fun.

-You got any call for me? I'm waiting. - shouted Morty.
-Don't worry man, it was from the phone company, they want you to upgrade your plan, I better told them to get lost. You're welcome.
-Well, I maybe need to upgrade my plan, there are some good deals on long distance calls.

This can't be.

-Morty, Morty... Morty. The Phone, not a cellphone, a phone. Now it's the most useless greatest invention ever. I mean, who doesn't text this days? And if you don't like to read you can have videocalls or you can call whoever, in the world! With a webcam.
-Well, my mom doesn't text...
-You should visit your mom more often!... and teach her texting. Does she live in a galaxy far far away where there are phone lines and no satellite coverage?
-N-no, not really.
-Remember Morty, phone lines are there so you can get calls from the phone company and some sad telemarketing people.
-What about here? At work.
-Work is another whole different thing! It's work, not your life, you don't see me making phone calls at home, that's why I do it here, becauase it's my job.
-That's not your job. - Now Katy got involved.
-Come on Katy, you know how this is. I help you, you help me.
-I'm sorry sweetheart but that sounds like corruption to me.- Katy was not helping me now.
-No it's not, that what friends do.
-I'm your friend.- damn you Morty.
-Damn you Morty! You still use a phone line, in your own house! What a disgrace, shame on you! Shame to your family! Shame to your cow!...

-Alriiight, alriiiiiight! What's with all the screaming, can everybody calm down?- Newman got out of his office.
-How can you ask me to calm down when Morty wants to upgrade something on a phone line, a phone line, that's right, he wants to pay more money for a useless service from a faceless company and I'm trying to stop him, you're welcome.- I was losing it.
-Does Morty gets cheaper long distance calls? - Newman was falling for this.
-Yes, and I also get in this points system where I can...- by the way, this is Morty talking, or maybe the evil brain behind a puppet working in a call center.
-I'm sorry, am I the only one who can smell the scam here? Really? No one else? Morty, let me tell you, if you need to call a place that can be reached by phone and not by internet, that place doesn't need to be called, it just a formality. - I have to get real with the guy. - I don't own a phone line, I have been giving the same number I wrote randombly one time 10 ten years ago and everything is fine, look at me, I'm happy, I have a job, I have lunch with pretty ladies...- I gave a wink to Katy.
-12:30 boy.- Katy didn't even stopped typing.

-Son, my time is running low, so made your point in 5 words or less and get back to your duty, also we have to talk about you lying about your phobe number in some government's applications, that's an crime also. - Newman looks tired, with a dry mouth and an untied show.
-Well, ehm... drop down the phone plan, boom! - and I drop the mic.

Chaos and no dj ch4

-Let me redirect your call to my buddy Morty, he's always...
-Screw your pal Morty, but you tell this to all your people, specially Morty, this is a message from someone you will never meet: Don't mess with us.
-Are you like a gang or some hardcore rappers?
-What did I just told you? Is this the retard department? I remember calling the Police department, by the way, fuck da police! I would say fuck you but you are not a member of the force, you are the frontman of the retard squad of third district.
-... wow, what happenned? What was that? Aah... I mean, you don't have to be that rude man.
-Bussiness are not kind, retard.
-What if I'm mentally challenged? How would you feel if you know that after you called me "retard"?
-I would say it again, louder and angrier, retard.
-You are now on the naughty list.
-Noooo please!, cross it off, I didn't mean to.
-Na ah, it's written with ink.
-You're stupid, I didn't even told you my name.
-Allright, I'm writting down your message. "Don't mess with us x o x o", who's callin'?
-Your mother.
-Hey, hey, hey, that's unnecesary bulling.
-Are you kidding me? I'm treathening you by phone, the whole police department is gonna ask you about this phone call...

-Son, who are you messing with on the phone? - It's Newman, I didn't even heard him getting out his office.

-I told you, even that guy is mad because you're messing with us.

Now, for this scene I need to explain it to you as a member of the drama club. First there's me on the phone with Mistah Thug, I don't really know how he looks like since, well, he's on the phone, and this is not the future with nice video calls; and then there's Newman just standing next to me and behind my desk with more papers on his hands, spooky.

It's a sunny day and I just wanna get off this phone call without alarming anyone, maybe just Morty.

Me: It's no one important, a nobody, a no chance.

Newman: Well, then quit playing and check this, I got more info for you.

Mista Thug: Hey, are you listening? Who's that?

Me: Shhh! More Info?

Newman: Yes, it looks like some small gangs are trying to claim responsability to get more fame.

Me (smiling) : Weeeell, weeeell, you heard that?

Newman: Mmh yes, I heard, myself. Are you still on the phone?

Mista Thug: What? What's going on?

Me: I'm on the case, if that's what you mean.

Newman and Mistah Thug (same time): Really?

Me: Yes, like a dog over... ehm...

Mista Thug: a cat?

Me: No.

Newman: A trail? For that you would have to be more of a hound to sound more convincing.

Mista Thug: He's right, a dog could be a Shih tzu, that dog is not inspiring at all.

Me: I know. Well, let's use your picture of the hound.

Newman: Have you found something?

Me: Almost, I just need a name to start.

Mistah Thug: You found nothing.

Me: I've found you.

Newman: What?

Mista Thug: No, I found you, you have nothing on me, I'm pretty sure you can't even backtrack my call.

I just cover the phone with my hand to whisper to Newman.

Me (whispering): Can we track a phone call from here?

Newman: Hand me the paperwork, I'll sign it and you will get the equipment and the people from 3 to 5 days, it'd a whole operation, son.

Mistah Thug: Hello? Hello? Are you still there?

Me (still whispering): Damn it Newman, life is happening now.

Back to the phone.

Me: Ehm, yes! I'm still here, and I'm sorry sir, I'm happy with my current phone service, but if you have a better offer just call me, we can discuss it in non labour hours more calmly.

Mista Thug: What do you mean non labour hours? This is your job! I'm treathening the whole department and you hide me? Do you want us to get there and show you who we are?

Newman: Do you want to backtrack a poor soul at a call center? Get back to the file, the thing is big.

Mistah Thug: Wait, what?! You have a file?

Newman: Said good-bye to your little friend and get in my office, I need you to take note on something.

Me: That was a good one, I wasn't expecting a classic reference from you.

Mista Thug: Come on, it wasn't that impressive.

Newman: Well, I might be old, but I'm a police officer and I like movies.

Me: Nice, alright, I'm coming with you.

Mista Thug: Don't you dare hanging up...

*Click.

-Scene-